Tag Archives: Maurice

“Revenge Phone Rap” rocks

28 Sep

by Dimitria Ioannidou//

Now this is so much cooler than any kind of revenge you have EVER plotted.  If you feel someone has wronged you, in any way, you need to have a word with Maurice.

You’re probably wondering who’s Maurice. Maurice is the rhyme master. He’s the Revenge Rap Master. In his own words:

“Well my name’s Maurice and I’m here for you, I’ll cheer you up when you’re feeling blue,
you see i got a knack of making raps, I shoot off my mouth instead of peeling caps,
when you got troubles you come to me, I know more words than a spelling bee,
someone done you wrong? You let me know! Tell me about it and send some dough,
then i make a rap and you get revenge, it will be a bigger mystery than STONEHENGE!”

You see?  You’re angry. You call Maurice.  You tell him your tale.  He’ll write a mini rap and then give the perp a ring.  That’s it.  No more texts, calls, voodoo, friend therapy, ok shopping is allowed…

To hear samples and order your vengeance rap, go to www.derekerdman.com.  Haven’t checked if he makes international calls though, sorry…

CREDITS: Text: Dimitria// Photography: via derekerdman.com//